Mr. Malcolm's List. Suzanne Allain. 2009/2020. 254 pages. [Source: Review copy]
First sentence: The Honorable Jeremy Malcolm, second son of the Earl of Kilbourne, was the biggest catch of the season the year of our Lord 1818.
Premise/plot: The premise of this one is relatively simple and straightforward. Mr. Malcolm, our hero, has a list--a list of qualities he's looking for in a wife, a life partner. When the existence of this list comes to light, a "scorned" (and I use that term VERY loosely) lady, Julia Thistlewaite, decides to get revenge. She writes an acquaintance, Selina Dalton, and invites her to town. SURPRISE, now that you're here, I've got a great idea! I want my ex to fall madly in love with you and then you can reject him. When she doesn't jump on board with enthusiasm and glee, well, Julia doesn't quite understand why her friend doesn't get it. As Selina and Jeremy grow closer together, Selina becomes more suspicious. Mr. Malcolm seems the sane one, and her friend is obviously not. But how can Selina get out of this messy situation?
My thoughts: I'll share the sentence from the book's description which hooked me: "It is a truth universally acknowledged that an arrogant bachelor insistent on a wife who meets the strictest of requirements--deserves his comeuppance." I was disappointed with this one.
Characters. Did I like any of the characters? I liked Selina okay. I thought she showed lack of discernment in friends certainly. I can't imagine Selina and Julia ever being close at any point in their life because they are so completely different--different values, morals, ethics, and expectations. But Selina seemed like quality for the most part. Julia was a hot, hot mess. She was just a wreck of a character--unbelievably so. She was so angry that Mr. Malcolm wasn't proposing marriage to her after ONE EVENING at the opera. (They had one date and only one date. It did NOT go well.) To make it her life goal to ruin his life seems a bit much. Surely readers aren't the only ones to detect Julia's lack of common sense and decency. It was almost more annoying that there were people surrounding her that were supportive and seemed to like her. Like Lord Cassidy, or Cassie. He's the one who tells Julia about the list in the first place. And he's 100% on board with this scheme even though he's good friends with Malcolm???? Surely he's missing a few brain cells to observe Julia in action and think she has any grasp of reality. And then there's Henry. HOW IN THE WORLD ANY ONE LIKE HENRY COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH JULIA IS BEYOND ME. SERIOUSLY. Henry was otherwise a seemingly intelligent, kind human being. I wouldn't mind Selina and Henry together honestly. Now to Mr. Malcolm, Jeremy, he was a bit all over the place for me. I certainly didn't dislike him for most of the novel--until the big reveal--and then his character flip flopped to an angry, hateful, abusive man. I don't know that I ever regained my respect for him. To be clear I was not bothered by his list.
Plot. I thought the plot itself was a bit soap opera-ish. It certainly didn't actually feel historical or historically accurate. I don't know that it even tried to feel genuine to the actual times. And that's okay, not every book is meant to have substance. Some are 100% written to be pure fluff.
The best thing I can say about this one is that it is clean. It is not a smutty novel. Not unless you consider kisses--barely described kisses at that--as smut. So if the most important thing to you is that a book be clean and free from smut, then you might find this worth your time.
Apparently this one is also soon to be a "major motion picture." I don't know if I should be shocked or not by this.
It didn't seem unreasonable to me that someone would have in mind the kind of person they hope to spend the rest of their life with.
Jeremy Malcolm's Requirement for a Wife
1. Amiable and even tempered
2. Handsome of countenance and figure
3. Candid, truthful, and guileless
4. Converses in a sensible fashion
5. Educates herself by extensive reading
6. A forgiving nature
7. Charitable and altruistic
8. Graceful and well-mannered
9. Possesses musical or artistic talent
10. Has genteel relations from good society.
© 2021 Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews
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