Poetry Friday: Alien Conspiracy (The Cheese Song)

The following is my favorite, favorite, favorite song. Okay, maybe I should amend that to favorite silly song. But still. I love, love, love this one.

It's a song written and performed by Andrew Peterson who is fabulous.

Alien Conspiracy, Or, The Cheese Song
by Andrew Peterson

There is a reason you see
That I’m thicker in the middle
I could blame it on a bad knee
Maybe just a little
I could blame it on my blue jeans
Or that my wife is such a fine chef
My metabolism’s changing
But I haven’t told you why yet

It’s a magical, mysterious
Hispanically ambiguous glaze

What is that white stuff on my nachos?
It’s too thin for melted cheese
It’s too thick to be just milk
So won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff I’m consuming?
Cause it’s so consuming me

Well you know they’ll never tell you
Cause then they’d have to kill you
There’s a mother load of cheese juice
That they found at Machu Pichu
At the temple of the Incas
There’s fountain flowing cheese dip
Then they smuggle it to Texas
Then they trick us with the free chips

It’s mind control
In a salsa bowl
I’m not even sure I remember how I got here

Well, give me some of that white stuff on my nachos
It’s too thin for melted cheese
It’s too thick to be just milk
In its sublime consistency
What is that white stuff I’m consuming?
Cause it’s so consuming me

So this is sorta a love song
It’s a kind of confession
As for me you see I’m long gone
So consider this a lesson
They wanna make us into zombies
Lurching to la hacienda
To gobble up the chimichangis
That isn’t how you want to end up
But Mexico remembers the Alamo
And the ghost of Montezuma’s on the move

It’s taking over with the white stuff on my nachos
It’s too thin for melted cheese
It’s too thick to be just milk
So won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff I’m consuming?
Cause it’s so consuming me
What is that white stuff won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff won’t somebody tell me please?
What is that white stuff, I don’t care just pass the cheese

© Becky Laney of Becky's Book Reviews